http://openjokes.com Jokes for all ages with pictures videos text and more Tue 16 Nov 2010 22:55:09 MST http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.2 en 2010-11-16 http://www.openjokes.com/747-homer-j-simson.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-10-27 01:41:55 abu jasin http://www.openjokes.com/747-homer-j-simson.htm Homer J Simson
]]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/# http://www.openjokes.com/746-noun.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-10-27 01:41:25 abu jasin http://www.openjokes.com/746-noun.htm NOUN
]]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/# http://www.openjokes.com/745-playboy-3d.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-10-27 01:39:43 abu jasin http://www.openjokes.com/745-playboy-3d.htm Playboy 3D
]]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/# http://www.openjokes.com/744-ein-arzt-sitzt-auf-einem-stuhl.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-10-27 01:35:24 abu jasin http://www.openjokes.com/744-ein-arzt-sitzt-auf-einem-stuhl.htm in seiner Praxis nachdem er gerade Sex mit einer Patientin hatte und denkt über das gerade Geschehene nach. Von Gewissensbissen geplagt wiederholt er immer wieder:
"Oh Gott, wie konnte mir nur so etwas passieren!
Was für eine Schande, ich habe meine gesamte Berufsethik verloren!"
Während er sich selber ohrfeigt wegen seiner Tat, erscheint plötzlich auf seiner rechten Schulter ein Teufelchen, das ihm sagt:
> > "GIB MIR RECHT, HÖR AUF DEN IDIOTEN ZU SPIELEN... WEISST DU EIGENTLICH WIE UNGLAUBLICH VIELE ÄRZTE ES GIBT, DIE SEX MIT IHREN PATIENTEN HABEN?! DU NAIVER TROTTEL, GLAUBST DU WIRKLICH, DER EINZIGE ZU SEIN?! DENK NICHT MEHR DARÜBER NACH... ES IST EINE TOTAL NORMALE SACHE!"
> > Der Doktor ließ sich so überzeugen, beruhigte sich und dachte:
"Du hast wirklich Recht, im Endeffekt habe ich nichts Schlechtes gemacht!!"
> > Kurz darauf als er das gesagt hatte, erschien ein Engelchen auf der anderen Schulter näherte sich seinem Ohr und sagte ihm:
"ERINNERE DICH DARAN, DASS DU EIN TIERARZT BIST, NICHT VERGESSEN! T-I-E-R-A-R-Z-T, IDIOT!!" ]]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/# http://www.openjokes.com/743-rebuild-a-jeep-under-4-minutes.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-09-19 05:12:50 guest http://www.openjokes.com/743-rebuild-a-jeep-under-4-minutes.htm Youtube Videos]]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/# http://www.openjokes.com/742-unmarried-girl-gets-pregnant-100-joke-only.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-08-12 15:06:47 guest http://www.openjokes.com/742-unmarried-girl-gets-pregnant-100-joke-only.htm A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant.

Scared,

She confides this 'news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you?

I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature And distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and theGirl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the Problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family Situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse,
a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.

However, If there is a miscarriage or unsucessful delivery , what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand

Firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You can try again!"
]]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/# http://www.openjokes.com/741-questions-that-cannot-be-answered.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-08-07 13:24:01 guest http://www.openjokes.com/741-questions-that-cannot-be-answered.htm 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and "�wise guy"� opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks? ]]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/# http://www.openjokes.com/740-team-work.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-06-14 14:53:55 guest http://www.openjokes.com/740-team-work.htm Team work
]]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/# http://www.openjokes.com/739-epic-beard-font.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-06-14 14:45:27 guest http://www.openjokes.com/739-epic-beard-font.htm Epic Beard Font
]]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/# http://www.openjokes.com/738-similarities-of-bar-and-bra.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-05-30 01:19:27 guest http://www.openjokes.com/738-similarities-of-bar-and-bra.htm What are the similarities of BAR & BRA

1. Both words have the same alphabets
2. Both are drinking zones
3. Both have restricted timing for opening & closing
4. More importantly, Both makes Men crazy when open !!

;) :)]]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/# http://www.openjokes.com/737-end-of-the-world.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-05-11 14:40:37 guest http://www.openjokes.com/737-end-of-the-world.htm End of the world ??
]]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/# http://www.openjokes.com/736-another-problem-caused-by-deforestation.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-05-10 12:23:56 guest http://www.openjokes.com/736-another-problem-caused-by-deforestation.htm Another Problem Caused By Deforestation
]]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/# http://www.openjokes.com/735-job-at-the-fbi.htm http://www.openjokes.com/# 2010-05-04 09:58:30 guest http://www.openjokes.com/735-job-at-the-fbi.htm The FBI had an opening for an officer.After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists;
Two men and a woman.


For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

'We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances.Inside the room you will find your wife sitting In a chair .. . . Kill her!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could Never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man For this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions.He took the gun and went into the room.. All was Quiet for about 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried,But I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't Have what it takes to be an officer.Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the
Gun and went into the room.After a minute, they heard screaming, crashing,banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the Woman, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

'This gun did not have any bullets' she said. 'I had to Beat him to death with the chair...!!!!']]> daily 1.0 http://www.openjokes.com/#